


11:43

by PaintedVanilla



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birthday, F/M, Internal Monologue, Mentions of Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 14:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13390128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedVanilla/pseuds/PaintedVanilla
Summary: The clock reads 11:43 P.M. on May 20, Dolley Payne’s birthday.





	11:43

The clock reads 11:43 P.M. on May 20, Dolley Payne’s birthday.

Not that she’s considered it much of a day of celebration. Not that she was _expecting_ a day of celebration, especially not just for her, but feeling good about herself may have been nice. She has a very extensive history of not feeling good about herself, especially on her birthday.

She’s fleetingly jealous of John, laying in bed asleep next to her. He’s had plenty of wonderful birthday’s, even before he met Dolley, and she’s done everything she possibly could to make the birthday’s he has spent with her as wonderful as she can make them. His parents always call him on his birthday - not that she would react to a phone call from her own parents with much enthusiasm, but it would be nice to be acknowledged. When she moved out it was like they pretended they just didn’t have a daughter; out of sight out of mind. And now that she’s dating John and likely on track to marry him, she wouldn’t be surprised if her parents liked to pretend John was their son and she was the daughter in law. She’s certain they wouldn’t approve of her if that was the case.

She looks away from John and sighs. The book she’s holding in her hands is heavy; Martha gave it to her yesterday since she wouldn’t be able to see her today. It’s almost three hundred pages and Dolley is almost finished with it. It’s a romance novel, one of the rare that’s well written, and it’s a hardback. Dolley loves the way it feels; she hates the way paperbacks crease and crumble, but she would never be able to bring herself to buy hardback if paperback were an option. She almost wishes Martha hadn’t gotten her the nicer of the two.

Martha. Martha has wonderful birthday’s. Her parents used to get her a present every year and it would be something she _wanted._ Thomas gives her the best days _now,_ he treats her wonderfully even when it isn’t her birthday, and he treats her like a queen when it is. Then the next day she sits and gushes to Dolley in person or over the phone about how sweet he is, how he got her the perfect gift, how the sex they had was amazing. And _yes_ Dolley is happy for her; Dolley wants nothing but the best for her darling best friend. But Dolley also envies her endlessly, because Martha gets treated like a priority even when it isn’t her birthday, and what does Dolley get when it is? She gets taken to dinner at a restaurant she doesn’t even like, she gets given a present she’s never going to use, and she gets bad sex.

Dolley sighs; she knows of all the things in the world, this is the most trivial to be worried about. At least she’s getting the bare minimum, and she’s a little ashamed of herself for not being satisfied with it. At least she got a dinner. At least she got a present. Not much can be said for the sex; she knows it’s not the most important part of a relationship, let alone the most important thing in the world, but an orgasm at the hand of her boyfriend every now and then would be nice.

She glances back at John; she hadn’t even been in the mood for terrible sex tonight, even though he clearly had been, so she’d just given him a blow job. And he’d accepted it, no question, and didn’t even offer to reciprocate. Like it wasn’t her birthday. Not that she feels the need to be treated like royalty on her birthday, but it would’ve at least been nice if he’d offered. It would’ve meant more to her than the silly necklace he got her.

Dolley bookmarks her book and shuts it, setting it on the nightstand. There lays the box the necklace is hiding inside of. She picks it back up and opens it, staring at it. She had cooed over it when John had presented it to her, but upon closer inspection she had noticed that it was the exact same necklace he got her for Christmas. Not that she would ever point such a thing out, but it baffles her that he could not _realize_ such a thing. Of course, he doesn’t seem to be terribly observant, having gotten her a necklace for every birthday, anniversary and Christmas they’ve spent together, and never once noticing that she doesn’t _wear them._ Never once asking her _why._ Never once bothering to learn that she doesn’t like to wear jewelry.

She looks back down at John. Of course she loves him, as much as he doesn’t always treat her exactly the way she wants to be treated. Of course she loves him, even though he happens to be cheating on her. Why would he be cheating on her? The only answer she can think of is that the way she wants to be treated is too much to ask for. She needs to lower her standards. She can settle for what John is giving her. He got her a necklace! He took her to dinner! He’s letting her spend the night on a Wednesday and she gets to sleep in his comfy bed and yes, she’ll have to wake up very early to catch the bus that comes by his house at five in order to get to work, but she couldn’t ask him to drive her. It’s out of the way. She doesn’t want to make a fuss; she doesn’t want to take up more room than she needs to. Clearly she’s already doing something wrong, because he’s cheating on her. He’ll stop when she fixes it. Whatever it is.

She closes the box again and sets it back on the nightstand. Tomorrow when she gets home she’ll add it to the pile of necklaces that’s accumulating in her bedside drawer. Tomorrow is May 21. Tomorrow she has an entire year to find a way to do better so that maybe, just maybe, when her next birthday comes, she won’t be so disappointed.


End file.
